Guest Writer: sCowTEE teH coWdoG

April 17, 2012 § 4 Comments

Editor’s Note: While we appreciate Scout’s colorful manner of speaking, and writing: we felt the need to “water it down” a bit, as we would like to keep this a Family Blog. In the interest of readability: Scout’s typing has also been edited, as: “lUv tO eeT mEETS!” is cute as a phrase or two…reading about “MeEtZ” for 1,216 words was a bit ridiculous.


Yo. My name is Scout. I’m not supposed to swear for my blog thing. Supposed to write about my days. Mostly: I think about cow meats, and how I like to chase them. Other times I think about eating them. One time I did, but it was in the garbages. I got in trouble and went to my crate.

I can’t tell time, but the peoples are still sleeping and I get off of their sleep thing and sit by the door. For not very long. Then I get back on the people sleep thing and stand on Dad’s balls. I am not sure why they are called that. I cannot chase them, and they do not bounce. But it wakes him up.

I go outside. It is dark. Sometimes when I hear stuff, I bark. Stuff does not bark back, but I told it where to go.

Then, I pee. Or sometimes poop. Depends on what I ated for night foods.

The peoples sleep for much longer, and then the World Light comes on. Then I eat day foods when Dad gets up.

Then I come in the people crate, and chase toys that make noises. If Dad stayed up late and his fur is crazy, he takes away my squeak toys because they make his mind hurt.

I like hot dogs.

When little cow meats are by the people crate I cannot run around. Sometimes I chase flying meats. They are fast, but I chase them so they know that I am still around.

Little cow meats think I am not scary. That is because I cannot bite them. The big cow meats are more scared of me.

My favorite time is feeding the boy cow meats. I can chase them, and they are scared. It’s best when I get lots of them together, since the peoples seem to think that is good. They scratch my head.

Sometimes I run with Dad and my friend Simon. he is a horse. I chased him once and had to go into my crate. Horses are big, but we both chase cow meats. I don’t think I would share with Simon if I caught one. He eats grasses which is for peeing on.

Momma calls me “Little Scoutie”. Dad just says “G#!damn it Scout” a lot.

I can sit. But it is dumb.

I can wait but that is dumb too.

This is stuff I do: chase balls, and cows.

One time I ate a dead meat. I am not sure what it was, but I found it.

thank you for reading. (they made me put that in).

 

 

 

 

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